As millions of Americans head home for the holidays, Bankrate’s latest survey finds that there’s one dinner topic that will likely generate more heartburn than the typical conversation taboos about politics or religion: it’s money.
The national opinion poll found that about 3 in 5 U.S. adults (61 percent) said they would be uncomfortable talking about their bank account balances with family members or close friends. And other financial subjects like credit card debt or annual salaries don’t spark much enthusiasm either.
In comparison, Bankrate’s Financial Taboos Survey found that about 1 in 4 were similarly uncomfortable sharing their political (24 percent) views and nearly 1 in 5 were resistant to sharing their religious (18 percent) views.
Talking about money may feel weird, but Christine Benz, director of personal finance and retirement planning at Morningstar, thinks it’s worth it to push through the unease.
“For better or worse, money is a key determinant of what we’re able to achieve,” Benz says. “Education is expensive, and saving for retirement is an increasingly heavy lift as people live longer.”
More Americans are comfortable discussing politics rather than money
Bank account balances aren’t the only awkward topic. Nearly half of U.S. adults said they would be uncomfortable discussing their credit card debt (47 percent) and salary (45 percent).
In comparison, a much smaller portion of Americans say they would be uncomfortable with such sensitive topics as their weight (31 percent), political views (24 percent) and religious views (18 percent). Even one’s love life seems to be less awkward of a topic for some Americans than the state of their bank accounts, with 51 percent of U.S. adults saying they would be uncomfortable discussing matters of the heart with family or close friends
Americans have consistently expressed this level of aversion to talking about money. In 2024, a similar Bankrate survey found that 38 percent of U.S. adults said they were comfortable talking about their bank account balance, and 52 percent — about their credit card debt.
Younger people feel more comfortable with conversations about money
The survey found that younger adults were more likely than older generations to feel comfortable talking about money.
“A lot of it is generational,” Benz says. “Older age cohorts were raised in an era when there were simply certain things you didn’t talk about. Salary, for instance, was something you would never divulge, even among friends.”
That’s an attitude that Joseph Mallia, 26, of Toronto, doesn’t share. Mallia, who works in marketing for a fintech company, said he loves talking about investing and saving with his family and peers. Mallia began learning about these subjects at the age of 19 and enjoys encouraging others to do the same.
“Everybody has a different perspective and different lifestyle, and some people aren’t fortunate enough to have disposable income to put aside or to invest,” he says. “In terms of what I’m learning, it’s more just from other [people’s] situations and how they think about money.”
Women are less comfortable talking about money than men
The stigma around money conversations might be especially present among women.
“For a good part of the 20th century, many women weren’t working outside the home or equal participants in family financial matters,” Benz says. “There was this sense that money was something women didn’t discuss, or even that it was impolite for them to do so.”
According to the survey results, women are less likely to be open to talk about all three money categories.
Money is a significant source of stress for many women. Forty-five percent of women say money negatively affects their mental health, according to Bankrate’s Money and Mental Health Survey. The discomfort around the topic might further worsen the issue, preventing women from reaching out for advice and seeking solutions.
Yet it’s vital for women to feel part of the conversation, Benz says, both to ask questions and challenge authority. Women face unique challenges in their financial lives, which can include leaving the workforce to care for children or elderly family members. And despite women doing well in terms of starting salaries and educational attainment relative to men, the pay gap persists.
Open, informed discussions about money can help women advocate for themselves and make stronger financial decisions. Thirty-six percent of women said they have never successfully negotiated for a pay raise, compared to 28 percent of men, according to Bankrate’s Financial Habits Survey. More women feeling empowered when talking about money might be exactly the thing to improve these numbers.
How to learn to talk about money
It may be tempting to leave money out of the conversation. It’s a topic that often makes people feel vulnerable and triggers a sense of shame.
The best way to become comfortable with such conversations is to engage in them, Benz says. She recommends finding a group or community where people discuss financial subjects. Whether it’s a group like the Bogleheads that talks about investing or a Facebook page where people share their debt journeys, it can be a good place to start.
“Practice really helps,” Benz says. “The more you engage in financial matters — reading, joining a community where people actively talk about money — the more confident you’ll become.”
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