Studies find that most people regret these 5 lifestyle choices by the time they hit midlife

Regret hits differently in your 40s. A meta-analysis examining 11 studies on life regrets reveals that Americans consistently wish they’d made different choices in five key areas. A systematic review published in December 2024 found that 90% of individuals typically experience severe life regrets, and midlife represents the peak period when these feelings intensify.

Neal Roese, a psychologist and professor at Northwestern University, led research published in Social Psychological and Personality Science that surveyed 370 Americans aged 19 to 103. The findings paint a clear picture of what haunts people most as they reach middle age. Career regrets peak during midlife, with 70% of millennials and 69% of Gen Xers reporting work-related regrets, according to a January 2024 Resume Now survey of 1,000 workers.

1) Not prioritizing health and fitness earlier

Health regrets rank among the most painful because the consequences become irreversible. A February 2024 survey of 569 retired Americans by MedicareFAQ found that 52% regret not having prioritized their health during their working years. The regret intensifies when physical limitations prevent people from pursuing activities they once took for granted.

Research shows that health regrets differ from other lifestyle regrets because they involve lost opportunities that cannot be reclaimed. Unlike career pivots or relationship repairs, certain health outcomes reach a point where intervention becomes less effective. The pattern emerges consistently: people wish they’d started exercising regularly in their 20s and 30s rather than waiting until health problems forced the issue.

2) Staying in unfulfilling careers too long

Career dissatisfaction dominates midlife regrets. The Resume Now study found that 60% of workers regret not asking for pay increases, while 58% regret staying at jobs too long. Men particularly struggle with work regrets, with 34% citing career decisions as their biggest source of remorse compared to 27% of women.

Roese’s research reveals that career regrets center on missed opportunities rather than actions taken. Workers wish they’d followed their passions, taken calculated risks, or negotiated harder for compensation. The meta-analysis found career ranked as the second most common regret category overall, trailing only education. Half of all workers surveyed in 2024 regret being in their chosen career entirely.

3) Letting romantic relationships slip away

Romance tops the regret list in multiple studies. Northwestern’s research found that 18% of respondents cited romantic regrets as their most significant life disappointment. These regrets involve lost loves, unfulfilled relationships, or failing to express feelings to someone important.

Women experience romantic regrets at higher rates than men, with 44% of women’s regrets involving relationship mistakes compared to 19% of men’s, according to research published in Social Psychological and Personality Science. The gender gap reflects societal expectations around relationship maintenance. Roese explains that women face greater cultural pressure to preserve relationships, leading them to question whether they handled situations differently.

4) Failing to save money and plan financially

Financial regrets intensify as retirement approaches. The retiree survey found that 78% say they’re sorry they didn’t save enough money or prioritize their finances during their working years. An additional 86% of current retirees wish they had saved more, making financial preparation the most commonly cited regret among older Americans.

Research published in the Journal of Risk and Insurance in April 2025 documents that many older people regret not having bought longevity protection or planned for extended retirements. The study emphasizes that financial regrets among vulnerable subgroups support the importance of early financial education. Ten percent of people cite finance regrets in their top disappointments, but this number jumps dramatically among those approaching or in retirement.

5) Not achieving work-life balance

Work-life balance regrets cut across demographics. The Resume Now survey found that 59% of workers regret not prioritizing work-life balance in their careers, with two-thirds of Gen Z and millennial workers expressing this specific regret. The retiree survey shows 28% regret not achieving better balance, while 21% regret not traveling more and 18% regret not spending enough time with family.

These regrets intensify because the lost time cannot be recovered. People report wishing they’d worked less to spend more time with their children when they were young. The research shows that individuals regret lost opportunities the most, particularly when they’ve failed to achieve a sense of closure following past events.

What’s next for avoiding future regrets

Research offers hope despite the prevalence of regret. Roese notes that at the end of the day, regrets are highly useful emotions that signal where in life people need to improve and motivate them to actually make those improvements. Rather than pretending regrets don’t exist, people should listen to them.

The findings also reveal that regret can help preserve relationships by motivating people to make amends when they’ve made mistakes. For career regrets specifically, 55% of workers surveyed in 2024 have professional resolutions for the coming year, with 54% planning to learn additional skills. The research suggests that midlife represents not just a period of reflection but an opportunity for course correction before it becomes too late.