My morning ritual is …
Wake up, hug a dog, drink a coffee, take the dogs out for a walk, sit down in my library and crack on with my latest book, which is on the pursuit of happiness, something that I’ve spent the last year travelling the world in search of.
I feel optimistic about …
… everything until reality kicks in. It’s always been a problem. I’m an ex-Goth. Actually you can never be an ex-Goth but I was kicked out of the movement when I was 22 for being “too cheerful”.
What makes me angry …
… is injustice, bullying, racism, nationalism, cruelty and cheese and onion crisps. I have a real issue with cheese and onion crisps – just the smell makes me retch and yet, I love both cheese and onions … and crisps. I fear this might be best filed under “first world problems.”
If I wasn’t a comedian and writer, I’d have liked to become …
I think I’d have been a very good sniper. I always fancied the idea of getting dressed up as a tree and then hiding somewhere for four days waiting to take the shot. The reality might not have lived up to the idea, but I will never know.
The habit that has served me best in life is …
… the French exit. Running away from anything I’m not enjoying. I live by Kim Cattrall’s quote: “I don’t want to be in a situation for even an hour, where I’m not enjoying myself.”
The habit I’ve successfully kicked is …
… hurling abuse at random cats. This was getting me in a lot of trouble with neighbours.
My sources of joy are …
… music, documentaries, dogs, more dogs, travel to new places, fine wine, more dogs.
When things get tough I …
… take the Liz Truss approach – ignore reality and crack on regardless.
The book I wish everyone would read is …
One of mine – The Dark Tourist – is a cracker, or The Downhill Hiking Club in which I walk across Lebanon. If I HAVE to mention another one it’s King Leopold’s Ghost by Adam Hochschild.
I live by Kim Cattrall’s quote – ‘I don’t want to be in a situation for even an hour, where I’m not enjoying myself’
The big thing I’ve changed my mind about in life is …
… filling out questionnaires, and beetroot. I used to loathe beetroot but I am strangely addicted to Borscht.
What keeps me awake at night …
Everything, particularly Weston-Super-Mare which, I believe, has recently banned me from entering the town. This will be the second time this has happened following “the incident.”
The thing that motivates me most of all is …
Hope. It’s the hope that kills you.
My parents taught me …
Not that much actually. They could have done a much better job, especially around personal finances.
I have this theory that …
… dogs wink at me when nobody else is looking. People think I’m mad but they definitely do.
I’d like to tell my younger self …
It’s all going to be OK but maybe buy some Apple stock and don’t sell the London flat.
Photography: Spencer McPherson
Dom Joly will be performing on his 25th anniversary tour Trigger Happy TV from October 7th – 14th
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