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I grew up in the Midwest and miss the friendliness and small talk back home.
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Pleasant chitchat has been rare for me in Germany, but I continue to live here for the hiking and security.
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I feel safer in Germany compared with the US.
In late August 2016, my wife and I landed in Düsseldorf. It was love at first sight.
We’re avid hikers, and I remember the feeling of absolute glee with our easy access to miles of footpaths along a river — in this case, the Rhine — without worrying about cars, traffic, or intersections.
I grew up in the Midwestern US and had dreamed for many years of living in Europe. So, when my wife and I finally got the opportunity just before I turned 30, we seized it.
We loved traveling and had just spent a year in Costa Rica, but we wanted to try somewhere in Europe where trains could whisk us away to different countries with ease.
We found that in Germany. However, life here has become about more than just the convenience of traveling to different cities and national parks a short train ride away.
I’ve come to appreciate the security of a country that values a social safety net.
I feel more at ease in Germany
One of my memories in Cleveland — the last American city I lived in — involved nearly being hit by a reckless driver on our way home from a cycling advocacy meeting.
I yelled at him, and he sped around the block to confront us again. Fortunately, there was no weapon involved — just profanity. However, in the US, the possibility of encountering an armed driver always lingered in the back of my mind.
I’m not looking for street fights in Berlin — where I live now — but conflicts happen everywhere. The difference is, in Germany, I don’t wonder if a minor dispute will end with someone pulling a gun. I feel safer sticking up for myself here.
I miss the friendliness where I’m from
None of this means I dislike the US. Too often, people mistake my preference for Germany as an invitation to bash my home country.
The US will always be home, a frustrating sibling only I can make fun of, no matter how estranged Uncle Sam and I become.
Above all, I miss the general friendliness back home, like when you encounter a stranger and ask, “How’s it going?”
I didn’t appreciate this until it was gone. Pleasant chitchat has been rare for me in Germany. For example, ordering at a restaurant or checking out at a grocery store is purely transactional.
I usually loathe small talk, but in this case, I miss it. Those tiny interactions remind us of our shared humanity, like the waiter who asks for your order and starts swapping life stories a minute later with genuine interest that goes well beyond someone just working for tips.
Fortunately, Berlin, where I’ve lived for five years, is home to many Americans. I can get my fix of “everything is awesome” Midwestern niceties right here. I’m Jewish, and I’ve even found a wonderful community of Jews from around the world who’ve become some of my closest friends.
The US will always be home, but I have no plans to move back
Though I’m now a German and European Union citizen, I’ll always be American.
However, as long as Europe remains a place where we feel more secure and free to live the way we want, it will be the place where I feel I most belong.
Eventually, we plan to split our time between Berlin and the US to spend more time with our nieces, nephews, and aging parents. For now, we are not considering a full-time move back to the US.
Read the original article on Business Insider