Oscar-winning actress Charlize Theron has had her share of romantic relationships.
Among the most famous were her relationships with Third Eye Blind frontman Stephan Jenkins and actor Sean Penn. But these days, the mother of two is choosing to be single, she recently told Alex Cooper on podcast “Call Her Daddy.”
For her, building her family was about “being honest with who I am and what I can give right now,” she said, adding that she realized she “was not somebody who should be having kids with another person.”
Here’s why Theron chose to be a single mom, and why relationship experts support her decision.
‘I used to be someone in relationships that would lose herself’
For Theron, there were two main motivations.
First, Theron’s parents had a tumultuous relationship. “There was a lot of alcoholism in my family,” she said, “on both sides.” And she grew up seeing the repercussions of that painful dynamic and wanted to avoid repeating what she saw at home.
Second, it was a recognition of how she functioned in a romantic relationship. “I used to be someone in relationships that would lose herself,” she said. She would often attract narcissists, which meant “walking on egg shells, trying to protect ego,” she said. And she avoided conflict, preferring to placate to them than to fight.
Ultimately, it was about “being very honest with myself and understanding that I did not have the capability of being healthy in a relationship,” she said.
‘I hear a woman choosing alignment’
Sara Nasserzadeh, sexuality and relationship expert and author of “Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love,” lauds Theron’s decision.
“I hear a woman choosing alignment,” she says. “She is not turning away from love, she is choosing not to recreate cycles that would compromise her ability to live and love truthfully.”
She also sees Theron’s choice as one made by an awareness of her surroundings.
Historically, women have relied on men for financial stability, for example. “For many, partnership was a necessity more than a preference,” Nasserzadeh says. “Charlize has the clarity, the support, and the resources to choose otherwise, and that is powerful.”
Psychotherapist and author of “13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do” Amy Morin has seen many women make a similar choice.
“Some were moms who didn’t want to expose their children to their dating lives,” she says, adding that, “others had done a lot of work on themselves but didn’t want to practice their new relationship skills while the kids were around.”
Others, still, simply felt their lives were full. They didn’t need the romantic relationship.
“Some have experienced backlash as others question if they’re truly happy or make jokes that there must be something wrong with them,” says Morin. “But choosing to stay single can certainly be a sign of strength, not weakness.”
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