Monica Virga, a 38-year-old entrepreneur based in Norway, found it unsettling to go from a period of working 20 hours a day to almost zero while on holiday, she said.
“I would… end up popping into my emails again and checking up on things with work that I didn’t need to be in,” she said. “I would end up coming home realizing I didn’t even feel like I went on a vacation because I was doing all these unhealthy kind of habits.”
But now, that’s changed.
Ahead of a trip to Morocco in October two years ago, Virga began her preparation.
Monica Virga and her daughter in Marrakech, Morocco.
Source: Monica Virga Alborno
“At the end of August, I started doing a little extra work once a week for a couple hours,” she said. She also packs her belongings three to four weeks in advance to avoid last-minute stress.
Her approach echoes advice from American psychologist, Guy Winch, a member of the American Psychological Association, who told CNBC Travel that planning ahead is key. He shared three tips to fully rest and recharge on holidays.
1. Slowing down before the trip
It can take days — sometimes weeks — for people to slow down after being in a constant state of busyness, Winch said.
“What usually happens is that people try and get ahead at work before they leave for the vacation,” he said. “Before they leave the house … they’re already stressed out and tired.”
That’s why, on short getaways, travelers may only find themselves settling into the rhythm of a vacation just as the trip is ending.
The solution isn’t to stop everything, but to ease into a slower rhythm.
“So you’re not in your fifth gear, you’re in your third gear,” he said. “It’s a little bit easier and quicker to go down to first.”
2. Follow your own pace
Vacations are relaxing when the activities are planned according to one’s physical and mental capacity. One way to do this is to focus on experiences, said Winch.
When Virga, who is a mother of two young children, goes on trips, she no longer crams it with activities. Instead, she searches for calming experiences for the family.
That includes “some childcare component, where I could go get a massage, or I could go do some yoga, and my kids are being looked after,” she said.
It’s no longer about ticking off the perfect bucket list, but to do activities that interest them, she said.
“I’m a very big believer now that traditional vacation is not built for parents, like that idea of going on a cruise ship … even an all-inclusive resort,” she said. “Kids are eating all this food that’s really bad for them, there’s just so much overstimulation.”
Managing expectations is also a huge part of making vacations a relaxing experience. Marissa Goldstein, a mother of four, believes that the moment parents start chasing the perfect holiday, they’re setting themselves up for failure, she said.
“They’re going to end up … either feeling like I’m a horrible parent, my kids are terrible,” she said. “[Or thinking] ‘Why can’t we travel like everyone else that I see on Instagram?'”
Her family travels with no fixed plan.
“We just figure it out … get lost for the day and we have no expectations,” said Goldstein.
Marissa Goldstein with her family in South Korea.
Source: Marissa Goldstein, @twinsonthegox2
To keep her children engaged, she uses ChatGPT to create scavenger hunts about the destination while ensuring that it is suitable for the young.
“Our best experiences is when it’s hands-on — when we’re getting dirty, when we’re like having fun, and it’s not the expensive, luxurious stuff,” she said.
Although she does enjoy luxurious vacations, it’s not one to do with children, she added.
3. Detach from ‘work self’
Vacations are only restorative when we psychologically detach from work, said psychologist Winch.
That’s because taking a vacation is not just about traveling to a different destination, but it’s also about taking a mental break, he added.
However, mentally checking out from work can be difficult, and for independent business owners like Goldstein, that might seem nearly impossible.
“When you work for yourself, it’s really hard to detach yourself from work,” said Goldstein. One way she’s found to navigate around this is to take alternating work shifts with her husband while traveling.
Winch says he takes a similar approach. “I can’t entirely detach … I do have to respond once in a while,” he said, but “in a very specific time that doesn’t interrupt with other things.”
He stresses the importance of responding to work when it is convenient instead of promising at a certain time. “Schedule it for when it’s good for you,” he said.