I love my boomer parents, but I really wish they’d stop doing these 5 things – VegOut

Every Thanksgiving, I sit at my parents’ dining table—the same one where I did homework thirty years ago—and watch a familiar dance unfold.

My mom will interrupt my story about a recent work project to tell me I should eat more vegetables. My dad will launch into a detailed explanation of something I already understand, speaking to me like I’m still twelve. Then they’ll both start debating politics based on a news segment they half-heard on TV that morning.

Don’t get me wrong—I adore my boomer parents. They raised me with love, taught me resilience, and are genuinely good people. But there are certain patterns that leave me feeling frustrated, misunderstood, or frankly, a little exhausted after our visits.

Sound familiar? Here are the five things I really wish my boomer parents would stop doing.

1. Treating me like I’m still a child

Picture this: I’m discussing a career decision with my mom, and halfway through explaining my thought process, she cuts me off to suggest I “ask someone older and wiser” for advice.

It stings every time.

Look, I get it. To our parents, we’ll always be their kids. But there’s a difference between caring and treating your forty-something child like they can’t make basic life decisions. Whether it’s questioning my financial choices, offering unsolicited advice about my relationships, or speaking for me in social situations, these behaviors send a clear message: “I don’t trust your judgment.”

The thing is, respect works both ways. I’ve built a career, managed my own household, and navigated plenty of challenges. When parents consistently override or dismiss their adult children’s autonomy, it creates distance instead of closeness.

I love that they care, but trusting that they raised me well enough to handle my own life would mean so much more.

2. Mansplaining things I already know

Last week, my dad spent fifteen minutes explaining how to use a GPS app on my phone. The same phone I’ve owned for two years. The same GPS I use daily for work.

This happens constantly. Whether it’s how compound interest works (hello, former financial analyst here), why I should check my tire pressure, or the “proper” way to load a dishwasher, my parents seem convinced I’m missing crucial life knowledge they need to share.

The mansplaining—or in this case, “parent-splaining”—is exhausting. It’s like they assume that because they lived through more decades, I couldn’t possibly have figured out basic adult tasks or learned anything worthwhile in my own experiences.

I know they mean well. They want to help and share their wisdom. But constantly being on the receiving end of explanations for things I already understand feels condescending, not caring.

Here’s a thought: maybe try asking if I need help before launching into a tutorial. Or better yet, trust that if I need guidance, I’ll ask for it.

3. Getting their news from questionable sources

My parents will confidently share “facts” they heard some random podcast or read in a Facebook post, then get genuinely upset when I question the information.

I’ve watched my dad repeat conspiracy theories he saw on YouTube as if they were confirmed by multiple journalists. My mom will share articles from websites I’ve never heard of, insisting they’re more trustworthy than “mainstream media.”

The frustrating part isn’t that we disagree politically—it’s that we can’t even agree on basic facts anymore. When I try to fact-check something or suggest looking at multiple sources, I’m accused of being brainwashed or dismissive of their intelligence.

I wish they’d approach information with just a bit more skepticism.

4. Making every conversation about themselves

So I’ll start telling my mom about a challenging project at work, and within two minutes, she’s launched into a story about her own job from 1987. Or I’ll mention feeling stressed about something, and suddenly we’re deep in the weeds about her neighbor’s drama.

It’s like they can’t help but redirect every topic back to their own experiences. I understand that sharing stories is how they relate and connect—it’s their way of showing they understand what I’m going through. But sometimes I just need them to listen.

The pattern goes like this: I share something personal, they immediately jump to their own similar experience, and before I know it, my original concern has been completely forgotten. I’m left feeling unheard and like my problems aren’t worth dwelling on.

What I really crave is space to finish my thoughts. To feel like what I’m going through matters enough to warrant their full attention, at least for a few minutes.

A simple “Tell me more about that” or “How are you feeling about it?” would mean the world before diving into their own stories.

5. Disregarding boundaries I’ve clearly set

This one might be the hardest to navigate. I’ve asked my parents not to give unsolicited advice about my personal life, yet every phone call includes commentary about my dating choices or suggestions about what I should do with my free time.

I’ve explained that I prefer to keep certain topics off-limits during family gatherings, but they’ll bring them up anyway, then act surprised when I feel uncomfortable. When I try to redirect the conversation, I’m accused of being “too sensitive” or “shutting them out.”

As parent coach and psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein wrote in a Psychology Today post, “Respecting the boundaries and autonomy of adult children is essential for fostering mutual respect and trust”. Yet somehow, this concept seems foreign to many boomer parents.

Setting boundaries isn’t about rejecting them or their love—it’s about creating a healthier dynamic where we can actually enjoy each other’s company. When I say “I’d rather not discuss that,” it’s not a personal attack. It’s me trying to protect our relationship.

The irony is that respecting these boundaries would actually bring us closer together, not drive us apart.

Final thoughts

Writing this feels a bit vulnerable, honestly. I worry my parents might read it and feel criticized or unappreciated. That’s not my intention at all.

The truth is, I genuinely admire so much about my boomer parents. They worked incredibly hard to build stable lives, raised kids during uncertain times, and have weathered challenges I can’t even imagine. Their resilience and dedication shaped who I am today.

But relationships evolve, and so do we. The parent-child dynamic that worked when I was fifteen doesn’t quite fit now that I’m in my forties with my own life experience and perspective.

I think a lot of these tensions come from a place of love—maybe even fear. It’s probably hard for any parent to watch their child navigate the world independently, especially when that world looks so different from the one they knew.

If any boomer parents are reading this, know that your adult kids aren’t trying to push you away. We just want to feel seen and respected for who we’ve become.

And if you’re nodding along as a fellow adult child, take heart—you’re definitely not alone in this.