Music icon Dolly Parton opened up this week about her struggles with songwriting following her husband’s death.
The country singer’s husband, Carl Thomas Dean, died in March at the age of 82.
Parton, 79, sat down with Khloé Kardashian for an episode of her podcast, “Khloé in Wonder Land,” to discuss her work, past, present and future.
When asked about her many talents — including acting, singing and songwriting — and if she feels closer to one of them than to the others, the artist said they’re all important to her, but songwriting is what she feels most connected to.
“I love feeling like that I can create something, to leave something in the world today that wasn’t there yesterday,” Parton told Kardashian, adding that her writing makes her feel connected to God.
Parton also addressed feeling writer’s block and not finishing songwriting projects that she started.
“My husband passed away three months ago — when you asked me if there’s stuff that I’ve started, haven’t finished, several things I’ve wanted to start but I can’t do it,” Parton said. “I will later, but I’m just coming up with such wonderful, beautiful ideas, but I think I won’t finish it.”
The musician continued that she cannot take on these projects right now because she has “so many other things” and she “can’t afford the luxury of getting that emotional right now.” Parton said she will write other songs if they come to her, adding that songwriting is her “joy” that also happens to be her job.
Dean, a Nashville businessman, and Parton were married in 1966 after meeting two years prior, and kept their relationship out of the public eye.
“Carl and I spent many wonderful years together. Words can’t do justice to the love we shared for over 60 years,” Parton said in a statement shared following his death. “Thank you for your prayers and sympathy.”
Days later, Parton posted a heartfelt message thanking those who reached out to her following his death.
“This is a love note to family, friends, and fans. Thank you for all the messages, cards, and flowers that you’ve sent to pay your respects for the loss of my beloved husband Carl,” Parton wrote. “I can’t reach out personally to each of you but just know it has meant the world to me. He is in God’s arms now and I am okay with that. I will always love you.”
The “Jolene” singer also released an emotional ballad honoring her late husband, “If You Hadn’t Been There.”
The song looks back on the love and support Parton received from Dean throughout their marriage.
“If you hadn’t been there / Where would I be? / Without your trust / Love and belief / The ups and downs / We’ve always shared / And I wouldn’t be here / If you hadn’t been there,” Parton sings in the ballad.
In an Instagram post announcing the release of the song, Parton said she fell in love with Dean when she was 18.
“Like all great love stories, they never end,” Parton wrote. “They live on in memory and song. He will always be the star of my life story, and I dedicate this song to him.”