Justiin Bieber can slay a Rubik’s Cube in two minutes but don’t expect him to solve his anger
Per usual, Monday has arrived with all sorts of news madness. Friendship with Justin Bieber is apparently contingent on you accepting his anger. Looking like Pedro Pascal gets you $50 and 365 free burritos. The Louve has seen enough and went back to bed. And there’s a porn parody of The White Lotus coming with the requisite catchy title.
Meanwhile, in bonus trivia, Waffle Houses are a kind of a barometer for FEMA, the Super Mario Bros. porn parody was on point with its title and a death-row inmate totally had a Final Destination ending.
All this and more from my desk, where you cannot buy fried ranch bombs, because who in their right mind needs those?