How TikTok phenomenon ‘Ballerina Farm’ sparked debate over ‘trad wife’ lifestyle

TikTok, a popular social media app, has hosted its fair share of controversial videos uploaded by users, resulting in backlash, debates and criticism towards those individuals.

Hannah Neeleman, more commonly known as “Ballerina Farm” on TikTok and other social media platforms, was no exception.

Neeleman is known for being a content creator who uploads videos showcasing her life on her farm, raising her children and cooking meals for her family.

However, after being interviewed by a journalist for The Times, a British newspaper, an article was released about her life and the number of Neeleman’s content views soared.

Many users weren’t pleased with her lifestyle. They started to spread criticism and start controversies on her TikTok videos, creating immense backlash towards Neeleman and her family. 

But why did Ballerina Farm suddenly become the center of controversy after the release of the article?

Journalism sophomore Nanthana Chenthil said she thinks the backlash stems from new viewers who harbor different opinions on Neeleman’s lifestyle.

“I think the reason it was such a big deal is because it kind of broke a look that they had, and it just kind of changed everything up,” Chenthil said. “Because they were like really famous and well known (before), I think it caused so much controversy because a lot of people who consumed Ballerina Farm’s content were people who were interested in that kind of lifestyle. This issue just brought a lot of more people with different opinions into the conversation as well.”

Communication leadership and strategy senior Sumeya Osman said Ballerina Farm received much criticism on their videos because people view traditional, or “trad”, wives negatively. 

“I think when she started to gain her popularity, people kind of start to see that as like ‘oh no, she’s trying to, like, destroy feminism and women being separate from men,’ compared to how she’s like, you know, trad wife, cooking for her kids” Osman said.

Journalism graduate student Kaili Malts said that she believes there are multiple reasons why Ballerina Farm rapidly rose to fame, ultimately causing backlash from viewers. 

Malts said Neeleman’s ability to create everything from scratch, holding traditional family values that are considered non-traditional today and uploading certain content are a few reasons why Neeleman has been the center of controversy.

Although the concept of traditional “trad” wives has been around longer than Ballerina Farm, why has Neeleman’s content specifically sparked debate surrounding gender roles and the way of living?

Chenthil said the controversy was fueled by Neeleman’s personal background.

“I do think it’s a little different considering the lady (Neeleman’s) background because she was a professional dancer and she did have life goals, and she had a plan and a vision, and that whole family, they’re pretty open about how he (Daniel Neeleman) met her and how he, like, took her away from what her plan was and changed her entire life plan” Chenthil said. 

For Malts, she said the controversy was caused by Neeleman’s way of living and the choice to upload videos showcasing her life.

“In my opinion, it’s because it’s kind of glamorizing the idea that women need to be in the kitchen and women need to work and raise their children and all that instead of shedding light to the fact that this was the reality for so many women, so many for such a long time, and that women were oppressed into doing stuff like that” Malts said.

However, with Neeleman sharing her day-to-day life on social media pages, Osman said that Ballerina Farm itself represents the negatives of the “trad” wife lifestyle.

Chenthil said Ballerina Farm represents the expectations that society has for women.

“I think it does represent, like while things are changing, what women are expected to do at the end of the day is to settle down,” Chentil said. “I do think that Ballerina Farm, she does kind of represent, like, how things are changing and growing and getting like better, in a sense, but at the end of the day, it’s still not as good as it should be.”

Based on Neeleman’s content and way of living, Osman said the way individuals view gender roles are based on culture.

“I think it goes back to culture and what we grew up on, what we grew up around,” Osman said. “Like, if you grew up with both your parents working, then you’re gonna have very different views compared to if you have a mom who stays home and a dad who works. If you just come from a culture where you have that dynamic, you’re from a completely different background than someone else who might (not).”

Similarly, Chenthil said that personal views on gender roles are decided by the environment people are living in.

“I think it’s based on the environment someone not only grew up around in, but also chooses like actively to put themselves in,” Chenthil said. “Everyone’s life experiences are very different; what they experience themselves, what they see other people experience, and how they take in what other people experience.”

Ultimately, even with different lifestyles becoming popularized by social media apps, Malts said it’s up to the individual to choose how they want to live.

“I don’t think there’s a right way of living,” Malts said. “I think that everyone should do what they want.”