7 life choices you simply don’t owe anyone an explanation for – VegOut

A friend called me last week, practically in tears. She’d just gotten off a family dinner where her relatives grilled her about why she wasn’t married yet, why she quit her corporate job to freelance, and why she moved across the country.

The worst part? She found herself scrambling to justify every single choice.

“I felt like I was on trial,” she told me. “Like I owed them a dissertation on my life decisions.”

Here’s what I told her—and what I wish someone had told me years ago when I left my analyst position to pursue writing: You don’t.

We’ve somehow convinced ourselves that our personal choices are up for public debate. That we need permission slips from family, friends, or society to live our lives. But when did we sign up for that?

The truth is, there are certain decisions in life where “because I want to” or “because it feels right for me” are perfectly valid—and complete—explanations.

1. Choosing to stay single

Why is it that the moment you hit a certain age, everyone becomes a relationship consultant?

I’ve watched countless friends endure interrogations about their single status at family gatherings, work events, and even grocery store run-ins with acquaintances. The questions always carry this underlying assumption that something must be wrong—that being single is a temporary glitch waiting to be fixed.

But here’s the reality: some people thrive on their own. Maybe you’re building a career, exploring who you are, or simply enjoying the freedom to make decisions without compromise. Maybe you haven’t met the right person, or maybe you have and chose differently.

Your relationship status isn’t a reflection of your worth, desirability, or life success. It’s just a choice—one that belongs entirely to you.

2. Not having children

This one hits differently because people get really invested in your reproductive choices, don’t they?

I can’t count how many childless friends have shared stories of well-meaning relatives, coworkers, or even strangers making comments like “You’ll change your mind” or “Who will take care of you when you’re old?” As if the decision to have children should be based on future eldercare plans.

The pressure intensifies with age, especially for women. There’s this societal timeline that suggests you’re somehow incomplete or selfish if you don’t procreate. But choosing not to have children—whether for financial reasons, career goals, environmental concerns, or simply because you don’t want them—is completely valid.

Parenting is one of the most significant commitments you can make. It affects every aspect of your life for decades. If anything, we should respect people who thoughtfully consider this choice rather than defaulting to societal expectations.

3. Changing career paths

Remember when switching careers was seen as flaky or unreliable? Thank goodness that narrative is slowly shifting.

I experienced this firsthand when I left my stable analyst position to pursue writing. The questions came fast and heavy: “But you have such a good job, why would you leave?” “What about your retirement plan?” “Isn’t writing risky?”

Here’s what I learned: people often project their own fears about change onto your decisions. Your career pivot might make them uncomfortable because it highlights possibilities they’re too scared to explore themselves.

Whether you’re leaving corporate life to start a bakery, going back to school at forty, or completely reinventing yourself professionally, you don’t need to justify your choice to anyone. Maybe you’re burned out, unfulfilled, or discovered a new passion. Maybe you want better work-life balance or to make a bigger impact.

Your professional happiness matters more than other people’s opinions about job security.

4. How you spend your money

Few things spark unsolicited advice quite like your spending habits.

I’ve noticed this interesting phenomenon where people feel entitled to comment on everything from your coffee purchases to your vacation choices. “You could save so much if you made coffee at home,” or “Must be nice to afford that trip” said with just enough edge to make you feel guilty.

But here’s the thing—you’re the one living with the consequences of your financial decisions. If you want to prioritize experiences over savings, or splurge on quality items that bring you joy, that’s your prerogative. Maybe you budget carefully so you can afford those concert tickets, or you choose to live minimally so you can travel more.

Sure, there’s a difference between being financially responsible and reckless. But assuming you’re meeting your obligations and not borrowing money from the person giving advice, your spending priorities are yours to set.

Your values, your budget, your choices.

5. Your appearance and style choices

Why do people think your body is a community project open for feedback?

Whether it’s your weight, haircut, tattoos, piercings, or clothing style, there’s always someone ready with an opinion. I’ve watched friends get unsolicited comments about everything from their bright pink hair to their decision to stop wearing makeup. The audacity is stunning when you really think about it.

Your appearance is one of the most personal forms of self-expression. If you want to dress conservatively, boldly, alternatively, or change your look entirely, that’s between you and your mirror. Maybe you’re exploring your identity, maybe you’re prioritizing comfort, or maybe you just like how something looks.

The only person who has to live in your body is you. The only person who has to feel confident in your skin is you. Other people’s comfort with your choices shouldn’t factor into how you present yourself to the world.

6. Your religious or spiritual beliefs

I’ve seen families fracture over someone leaving their childhood religion, friends get defensive when someone explores new spiritual practices, and coworkers make uncomfortable assumptions based on someone’s beliefs. The pressure to conform to family traditions or societal norms around religion can be intense.

But your spiritual journey is deeply personal. Whether you’re questioning long-held beliefs, exploring different faiths, embracing atheism, or creating your own blend of practices, you don’t owe anyone a theological defense. Maybe you’ve had experiences that shifted your perspective, maybe you’re seeking something that resonates more authentically, or maybe you’re simply following your conscience.

Recently, I’ve been reading Rudá Iandê’s book Laughing in the Face of Chaos, and his insight really resonates:

“No single ideology or belief system has a monopoly on truth, and the path to a more just and harmonious society lies in our ability to bridge divides, to find common ground, and to work together toward shared goals.”

Your relationship with the divine—or lack thereof—is yours alone.

7. Setting boundaries with family

This might be the hardest one because family relationships come with so much emotional baggage and expectation.

Maybe you’ve decided to limit contact with toxic relatives, skip certain family events, or refuse to engage in political arguments at dinner. Perhaps you’ve chosen not to share personal details about your life, or you’ve stopped playing mediator in family drama. The guilt trips that follow these decisions can be brutal.

But here’s what I’ve learned: healthy boundaries aren’t mean-spirited—they’re necessary for your mental health. You can love your family and still protect yourself from harmful dynamics. You don’t have to endure abuse, manipulation, or constant criticism just because you share DNA.

Final thoughts

There’s something liberating about realizing you don’t need a committee to approve your life choices, isn’t there?

I think back to my friend who called me in tears after that family dinner, and I wonder how different that evening would have gone if she’d simply responded with, “That’s what works for me right now” instead of launching into lengthy justifications.

The truth is, people will always have opinions about how you should live. Some come from a place of genuine concern, others from their own insecurities or unexamined beliefs. But at the end of the day, you’re the one who has to wake up in your life every morning.

Learning to trust yourself—your instincts, your values, your vision for what makes a meaningful life—is one of the most powerful gifts you can give yourself. It’s not about being defensive or shutting people out, but rather about recognizing where their input ends and your autonomy begins.

Your life is your masterpiece. Paint it however feels true to you.