According to seniorliving.org, the most common type of senior living facilities are catered to those over the age of 75. The average age of seniors in assisted living is 87.
Sometime between those ages – or, perhaps, before – a family will have a conversation with their loved one about a lifestyle change that could mean moving out of an existing home, into a senior facility.
Those conversations can be difficult, as so many seniors find it difficult to part with their familiar home.
Lee Ann O’Brien of McGregor Senior Living in East Cleveland offered suggestions in regard toward the best way families can have conversations with their senior about the change in living arrangements and any potential unsettling feelings those conversations can ignite.
“Begin the conversation by stating your worry for your loved one,” O’Brien said. “Highlight the changes you have noticed in their routine, physically, emotionally and mentally. Show your concern and empathy for your loved one while also being a support through this transition by offering the idea of assisted living.
“Acknowledge that the decision to move to assisted living is collaborative. If your loved one is resistant to moving to assisted living, then they may suffer from depression if they are placed somewhere unwillingly. Make sure that they are happy and comfortable with the place that you choose to ensure that it is the best fit for them.”
Keep in mind that even though the ages noted above are the norm, some seniors may develop the need for assisted living as early as the mid-60s. Sometimes those tough decisions crop up earlier than a family anticipates.
“As always, it is best to begin these conversations earlier rather than later,” O’Brien said. “If options are explored before a loved one approaches this obstacle, then each member of the family understands the plan and can ensure that their loved one is happy with the decision. Before approaching the conversation, research what you think might be the best fit for your loved one. This will help you explore options online and get an idea of cost, activities, amenities and medical assistance. From there, you can start the conversation.”
O’Brien said she has found many instances when the move to a senior facility has sparked a new life in positive ways.
“Maintaining a household, a yard, home improvements, cleaning out years of accumulated items that are hidden away in the attic, and other expenses can cause moments that are stressful to older adults who are trying to remain at home,” she said. “Consider this – making a move and downsizing – as the time to live your best life and avoid the worries that come with owning or remaining in a house. We have had many individuals who have found time for themselves to engage with others and often find their health and outlook improves when they alleviate some of these stressors.
“With the average age of a person moving into assisted living being 87 years old, it stands to reason that their adult children are in their late 60s. People who are proactive in their approach to senior living option – well they just do much better, live longer and healthier lives!”
No doubt, when your senior loved one is presented with the reality that a move has to be made, there can be considerable dissent, so O’Brien has some simple advice.
“Timing is everything as well as patience,” she said. “Approach with compassion and listen to their comments as well. Too much information overload can cause stress and may result in an outcome you prefer to avoid. It may take conversations over a period of time to enact the results you are hoping for and their willingness to participate in the decision.”
If all else fails, remind your loved one that he or she will have company. More than an estimated 818,000 Americans live in a senior care facility.
Steve Mark is a freelance journalist.