Julia Roberts may an Academy Award-winning actress, but early in her career, she struggled to overcome harsh criticism.
“I don’t think I entered into my career with much confidence,” Roberts told People Magazine in a recent interview.
Roberts, who broke through as an actress with films like “Steel Magnolias” and “Pretty Woman,” said that in her early 20s she encountered “a few critical people who were really cruel.”
“Being insecure, it can be crippling. So if someone embarrassed me, it stopped me,” she recalls. “I was apoplectic, so learning to navigate that — because this is not an industry to be in if you can’t take criticism or harshness or being embarrassed.”
Instead of being discouraged, Roberts chose to view those situations as an “interesting challenge for me to decide the kind of person I wanted to strive to be,” she told People.
She describes her experience as a young actress as “more bumps than smooth sailing,” but today, she sees her past hurdles as opportunities for growth.
“I would think, ‘Okay, there’s a reason why it has to be so hard.’ Now I look at it as some of the lessons that I’m the most grateful for because they proved my endurance to myself,” she said.
“I had a lot of things I needed to overcome for myself,” Roberts continued.
Coping with criticism in the workplace
Building resilience is “particularly important for young woman who are starting their careers,” regardless of industry, according to career and leadership coach Phoebe Gavin.
“We receive a lot of cultural conditioning that makes us very critical of ourselves and very concerned about being observed and being judged,” Gavin says. “All of those things can bring up a lot of insecurity as we enter the workplace.”
No matter how self-assured you are, harsh criticism can feel crushing, she says.
If abrasive feedback is taking a toll on your confidence, the most crucial thing to remember is “to put distance between yourself and the criticism,” Gavin says.
“When you hear people say critical things or mean things or cruel things, remember that it’s about them, that that is a reflection of who they are. It’s not necessarily a reflection of who you are,” she says.
Instead of internalizing others’ unkind words, “think very loudly in your own mind about the things that make you valuable and what you’re bringing to the table,” Gavin says.
There may be a “kernel of truth” inside some criticism, according to Gavin: “Sometimes useful feedback can come in very ugly packaging,” she says.
If that’s the case, Gavin recommends taking some time to reflect on your actions and what you could change in the future.
“Instead of internalizing it as something that is permanently true about you forever, find the places where you have agency to make positive change in yourself or the way that you work,” she says.
Still, if your workplace is taking a toll on your mental health, “it’s OK for you to decide for yourself that being in that sort of environment isn’t right for you,” Gavin says.
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